The Opposites are Seeking Balance
Shadow Work and Our Connection to a Living Cosmos
Our relationships are the best training grounds for wholeness that we can encounter. It is hard, if not impossible, to see yourself in a vacuum all by yourself. Carl Jung says the unrelated human being lacks wholeness because we do need each other to see ourselves. Life certainly obliges us if we are willing to see that the person in front of us is indeed a mirror. I truly believe that all painful past or present-time relationships were, and are, exactly what we needed to see our whole selves.
People Who Are Our Opposites
Opposites need each other to complete what is incomplete in themselves. As we strive more and more toward wholeness, we will be mysteriously drawn only to those people from whom we will learn more about ourselves, even though at times that can be rather painful. The teleology in the universe is seeking to help us by bringing us repeating patterns. Teleology just means it is leading us somewhere. This understanding can give us the insight to resolve issues, differentiate ourselves from others and the wisdom to admit we need to grow from these experiences. As a society and as a culture, we tend to minimize the growth and emphasize the pain. But as the saying goes if there is no pain, there is no gain.
All of our relationships, whether with lovers, friends, siblings, coworkers, bosses, neighbors, even our own parents and children are a part of our very sacred path towards wholeness and healing. Every painful lesson learned is always for both people, always. You may doubt that and say, “What? My co-workers too?” Yes, your coworkers too because we are all energy. For over thirteen years, I worked with a corporate marketing department creating their graphic projects. All six of these people in this marketing division were a Sagittarius Sun, Moon, Rising sign or a strong Jupiter placement and they all thought this was a coincidence. I knew it was not. By the way, I too have the Moon and Mars in Sagittarius which rules publishing, sales, marketing and teaching. Additionally, Jupiter is in my career house! We were in proximity for years because of our energy.
There are many different characters inside us and some of them interfere or contradict other parts of us. These conflicting character traits are the ones that give us the most trouble as often we will deny or disown what we cannot accept. This is one of the many reasons why knowing our astrology is helpful. We all have squares and oppositions and difficult configurations that all need a place to be expressed in our everyday life.
Our Living Connection to the Cosmos
The transits and progressions of the planets which describe how the planets are making mathematical aspects to the energy of our birth charts are remarkably accurate. They describe our connection to a living cosmos that is in constant motion inside of us as we go through changes that are inherently a part of our evolution. For instance, if we are receiving a transit of the planet Pluto which is symbolically the god of death and rebirth, transformation, elimination and healing. We will go through some outer world experience we can describe as an ending psychologically, sometimes even physically and a new way of being or perceiving will take its place. That is a given. We do not know exactly how or what will unfold but knowing our current transits, we can be aware of the energy that is present. Knowing the meaning of our transits can give us the insight to cooperate and participate in life with more conscious awareness.
Staying stuck in the victim mentality of the Piscean Age will no longer be a viable option. It can actually make you sick to deny your whole self. A good friend who was in the last stages of cancer once said to me, “I’ve been told repeatedly that I need to be more selfish.” She was overdoing giving and sacrificing to her detriment until it manifested in her body as a cancerous growth. Resentment and anger withheld for the sake of a persona identification of being ’only good’ may eventually take its toll. Extreme opposites (which means we are identified with only half of our being) hidden from our awareness can live against us either through our bodies (psyche is not separate from soma) and often through our relationships. Unforgiveness does that also. See Louise Hay’s book, You Can Heal Your Life. I have healed myself four times — twice instantaneously through a willingness to forgive and using her affirmations for the particular body part involved.
“Rationalism and superstition are complementary. It’s a psychological rule that the brighter the light, the blacker the shadow. In other words, the more rationalistic we are in our conscious minds, the more alive becomes the spectral world of the unconscious.” — Carl G. Jung
Self-knowledge therefore is paramount as we cannot change anything in ourselves we don’t know or accept. It is fundamentally impossible to change something about ourselves that we are condemning in ourselves or others, i.e. projecting. Acceptance of our shadow or acknowledgment that we even have a shadow is the first and biggest hurdle to face. Many people cannot go there. The late Jungian analyst and author, Ed Edinger would say this person will need a supportive psychotherapeutic relationship to build up their ego strength first. Only a strong enough ego will not flinch when seeing a shadowy aspect of our nature. It can be daunting at first, but with time, when it becomes obvious that challenging patterns are continuing to present themselves, it’s actually a relief. Consistent shadow work frees up our anxieties and self-destructive addictions. Then self-honesty becomes liberating as we learn to balance the opposites, instead of denying they exist. Here is a link to see a recent testimonial from a workshop participant that I added to YouTube today. It’s 16 minutes but it’s worth watching to the end for his profound and vulnerable statements. It is worth hearing not because he praised me. What is important is that he changed himself given the opportunity of the information. She (his wife) was not in charge of changing him and he came of his own volition, but she (and his friend Ryan) invited him therefore giving him the opportunity.
I still remember how it felt to really understand the truth of the statement that there are people inside us that we don’t know. It was like having a light bulb go off in my mind. Wow! So that explains why I said what I said when I didn’t want to say it! Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever asked yourself, “Why did I say that?” We shock and surprise ourselves wondering why on earth did that happen.
To find out why, It behooves us to take our unconscious seriously and start up a constant dialogue. Edinger, in his book Ego and Archetype, called this developing our ego-Self axis. Suffice to say, that what we don’t know about ourselves can hurt us and others. Yet, there are also times when our unconscious will say something we never thought of at all. It will say out loud something we badly need to hear or say so that we can move forward in our life. This too is a direct experience of the Divine inside speaking for us, or to us, so it can be enlightening and numinous. This is when you know without a doubt you are connected as the occurrence is usually synchronistic.
To contribute to this commitment of becoming conscious, exploring healthier ways to live, and embodying every aspect of our birth charts is to me, the hero or heroine’s journey. Owning our shadow gives us the humility to open our hearts to others and whew! What a relief! No one is perfect out there. We are all flawed and in need of seeing our primitive, infantile and wounded selves that lie hidden in our unconscious. Any deep and/or committed relationship will bring these to the surface if we dare to face our shadow selves. The YouTube below describes the content of the six-week course, Creating the Balance, Shadow Work & 7th House Astrology.
JANUARY 2025 EVENTS
On ZOOM, the Webinar begins Tuesday, January 7th (unlimited participants) and the In-Person Workshop in SW Houston begins January 9th (Limited to 8 participants so please register early.)
7:00 - 8:30 PM - REGISTER OFFLINE on my website or additionally through Zelle (281-799-2900), Venmo (@Rebeca-Eigen) or Cash App ($reeigen)
Birth info (time, place & date) is required for Week 4 so once you register, please email it to me: rebecae@shadowdance.com. See a printable course description in pdf form here.
Rebeca Eigen, Astrologer, Marriage & Relationship FIXER and author of The Shadow Dance & Astrological 7th House Workbook is based in Houston, Texas. Rebeca offers personalized 1:1 relationship CONSULTATIONS available for individuals, couples, parent/child, friends — any relationship you are trying to understand. Knowing your Astrology is invaluable for self-awareness, self-acceptance and self-compassion. For more info visit: shadowdance.com.
Thanks for reading! Subscribe to receive new posts and support my work.
