Projection and transference is the way we begin all of our relationships. The word transference means we transfer our history onto others and projection is a psychological defense mechanism. We tend to see our partners through the lens of our own expectations, wounds and past experiences rather than for who they truly are. Both transference and projection essentially mean the same thing. In CW:9 AION, Phenomenology of the Soul, par 17, Carl Jung says,
“Projections change the world into a replica of one’s own unknown face.”
He also pointed out that projection has a compulsive, autonomous aspect to it and does not occur of our own volition. All we know is that suddenly our libido (energy) has awakened. He also said we don’t make projections, we meet with them. The people we are extremely attracted to are parts of ourselves that we are missing. The curious thing is that we can be repulsed by and attracted to the very same person because we both have similar energy.
Whether we project aspects of ourselves out onto the opposite sex or same sex, it doesn’t matter. When we experience a fascination or compulsion toward an individual, it’s a real clue that it is a projection of our own unconscious contents. As Jung explained, we have a masculine and feminine contra-sexual image inside of us and these are principles, not genders. Every new encounter, as it occurs more than once in a lifetime, just means more integration is now available. I see chemistry with others as a gift from God within, the Self, as Jung called our inner beloved or our higher self because it is so rare. When it does happen, there is an erotic, magnetic feeling within us when we meet someone who can carry the projection of our shadow, or our “Anima” or “Animus.” There is a saying that we feel butterflies when we are with a romantic partner. The Greek word “psyche” originally meant soul or breath of life and was also used to mean butterfly. This connection likely comes from the ancient belief that the soul, like a butterfly, undergoes transformation and can ascend after death.
In mythology, Psyche was a mortal woman whose love story with Eros (Cupid) symbolized the soul’s journey through trials towards divine love and self-realization. The butterfly became a fitting symbol for this process — fragile yet resilient, undergoing metamorphosis, just as the soul evolves through these divine encounters.
At first, it is quite compelling. We are compulsive about the person and obsessed when we are in this psychological state, which Lévi Bruhl called participation mystique. No amount of logical reasoning can talk us out of it.
“To the extent that the opposites remain unconscious and unseparated, one lives in a state of participation mystique, which means that one identifies with one side of a pair of opposites and projects its contrary as enemy. Space for consciousness to exist appears between which means one becomes conscious as one is able to contain and endure the opposites within.”
— Edward F. Edinger, Anatomy of the Psyche, pg 187
Carl Jung says,
“To put it briefly, it means a state of identity in mutual unconsciousness. Perhaps I should explain this further. If the same unconscious complex is constellated in two people at the same time, it produces a remarkable emotional effect, a projection, which causes either a mutual attraction or a mutual repulsion.”
— Carl G. Jung, CW 10: Civilization in Transition, The Undiscovered Self, para 69
The Astrological 7th House (180˚ opposite the 1st House)
Marriage, Partnerships and Open Enemies
This is why the ancients believed the 7th house was also the house of ‘open enemies,’ because the partner has to become the enemy we polarize with. At first, all is wonderful. You feel you have met your true “soul mate.” You think, “I have known you forever.” Well, yes, because you are projecting aspects of yourself onto the other person. That’s why at first they seem to be so familiar to you. Erotic attraction has a physiological basis — hormones, pheromones and body language all play a role — but what amplifies it is often psychological. When we feel an almost electric pull toward someone, it’s not just about their physical presence; it’s about what they represent to us. That’s where projection comes in.
Falling in love or encountering a “mirror image,” which is descriptive of the chemistry we feel for each other can also become a very transformative experience. It can wake us up and help us see many things differently about ourselves. We certainly feel more alive when we are in their presence.
Eventually, (and this has to occur for our own psychological growth), the rosy glow of infatuation leaves the scene. It is inevitable. All couples will begin to polarize and find fault with each other and a crisis, which is also a turning point in the relationship will occur. The relationship will start to deteriorate so that they can differentiate. You will hear couples talk about how the “magic” is now gone from their relationship. They will make statements like “She’s not the girl I married; she’s not who I thought she was” or “He became someone else, or he has changed.” The truth is, most people are unconscious of what has happened to them because they don’t understand projection.
When I first learned the meaning of projection and that my 7th House was going to describe my partners, I was immediately impressed by its accuracy. Not only did my marriage and business partner have the energy described by my marriage house, but every person I had a lasting relationship with also contained the energy of the sign and/or ruler of my 7th house cusp. There is something about the nature of reality that won’t allow us to remain unconscious or one-sided. There is an inner calling for our unlived life.
Our partners inevitably are unconsciously chosen in order to show us our shadow traits and our contra-sexual and invisible partner. At one of my workshops, someone said, her friends that are married say they love their partners and at times they hate them too. I said, “That’s because they don’t understand the opposites are in their unconscious. If they did, they would start working towards the middle of polarizations and make an effort to understand the other person through vulnerable sharing of feelings and fears. When we have good intentions, we can meet each other halfway and make the required efforts to come into a balance with each other consciously, instead of making our partners into an enemy.
The theory of opposites is that whatever characteristics we are highly identified with, the exact opposite is in our unconscious to the same degree. Yes, the exact opposite. Think about that.
A guy who came to have a consultation with me who was in his late 60s said, “This should be taught in high school.” I agree.
“Whether it occurs in analysis or in one’s personal life, the transference experience is a call to wholeness.”
— Edward F. Edinger, Creation of Consciousness, pg 114
Jung also said that children are highly susceptible to picking up and living their parents’ unlived lives, their opposites, so that too will come into play through projections. Suffice to say, coming to consciousness takes time and takes ‘others’ to help us see and accept our totality, the light and dark sides of us.
We don’t just see each other; we see an ideal, a longing or even our fears. The intensity of the chemistry can signal deep resonance, but it can also be a sign that something unresolved is being stirred up for both people. That’s why when we feel chemistry, it feels like fate. Fate brought us to each other because we mirror each other’s energy. Chemistry describes both erotic attraction and unconscious projection, which makes sense because the two are deeply intertwined. This amazing chemistry we feel can reveal a great healing power available through our meeting and that is the real gift involved in shadow work. Doing it together can change the spiritual, emotional and psychological dynamic of the relationship as more integration becomes accessible for both people creating wholeness instead of division.
“My favorite part about being an Astrologer is helping my clients become aware of the birth chart as a map of their soul which manifests from day 1. As Jung said, “We are not born tabula rasa, (blank slates).” You will understand this completely when you have a consultation. My goal is always to help you forgive the past and let go. You are in charge of living your individuality in a creative way that is life enhancing, instead of repeating endless patterns and feeling victimized by your fate.” — Re
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